Lovingly Always

Okay, okay, okay.

I guess now I have to say it. Out loud. And publically.

I’m not going to college. SURPRISE!

At least not yet.

Don’t worry everyone, I still bleed crimson and cream. Just rather than joining the class of 2022, I’ll be joining the class of 2023. While this change is sudden and unexpected, so are most things in life. When I began this summer, I had my plans set so firmly in my mind. I had registered for classes, been assigned a dorm and a roommate, and made amazing friends at Camp Crimson, which is freshman orientation camp at OU for those who don’t know. Yet, so quickly was the rug pulled out from under my feet.

Right before I left for camp, bloodwork from my annual physical came back very abnormal. An ultrasound and an endocrinologist visit later, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Hashimoto’s is a condition in which your immune system attacks your thyroid, which produces hormones that coordinate many of your body’s functions. My bloodwork, however, still left many questions raised which still remain unanswered.

Once at camp, the second blow arrived: the end of a long-term relationship.  These two incidents, occurring only weeks apart, made a heavy impact on me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Although I felt utterly defeated, broken and bruised by my heart-ache and uncertainty in my health, the Lord had me right where I needed to be. I was in the most spiritually fulfilling place, constantly being poured into by an amazing community of Christians: Camp Cho-Yeh. Deep in my heart, I knew that all this uncertainty and upset was part of a bigger plan, but I had no idea what it could be.

A few weeks go by, and it became abundantly clear what The Lord wanted for me. He wanted me to stay for the Gap-Year discipleship program, Compass. I was stubborn, and I initially refused to listen, my plans were set. I knew what I wanted. But there was a heaviness in my heart, begging me to have a conversation about Compass. To learn what it was, how it would work, how I could be a part. I avoided it like the plague because I knew if I had that conversation, if I asked those questions, it would change everything. But The Lord intervened and placed it on the heart of a dear friend of mine to talk to me about Compass. From that moment, I became determined. Terrified, but determined to make it work. So I did.

I called my mom, and her initial reaction was that she was diametrically opposed to the idea, her exact phrasing. So I asked her to pray about it. A few days later she called me and said that she had woken up that morning and knew that I needed to be there, at Compass that fall. The Holy Spirit works in some insane ways.

My dad was harder to come around, but once it became clear that I needed to be near Houston for more testing in the coming months to determine what was the cause of my thyroid issues, he knew that it was The Lord’s plan for me to press pause on school and pursue my relationship with Christ.

So here I am. Freshly eighteen and going into a new adventure, completely unknowing what The Lord has in store for me. And I’m surprisingly okay with that.

Lovingly Always,

mh